“Dr. Dixie, I usually imagine the very worst outcome. Even when things turn out better than I expected, I’m already so upset by the imaginary “what ifs” that I make a big deal out of everything, and can’t even enjoy the good. How can I stop doing that?”
Here’s a story that illustrates your dilemma: Driving on a country road late one rainy night with his family, Charlie was nearly home when a tire blew out. Opening the trunk, he found the jack missing. He told his wife, “I’ll just walk to the neighbor’s house and borrow a jack.”
As Charlie walked in the cold rain toward the house, he saw lighted windows and thought, “Good. Ned is awake. I’ll knock and say, ‘I’ve had a flat. Could I please borrow a jack?’ And he’ll say, ‘Why sure! Help yourself—you can just bring it back tomorrow.’’’ Suddenly, the light went out and Charlie muttered, “Oh no! Ned’s gone to bed, and he’ll be annoyed becauseI’mbotheringhim. He’llprobablyexpect payment for his jack. And I’ll say, “Well, it isn’t very neighborly of you, but I’ll give you ten bucks.’ And he’ll say, ‘You think you can get me out of bed in the middle of the night for ten lousy dollars? Twenty bucks or get yourself another jack.’” By the time he reached Ned’s house, Charlie had worked himself into a rage. Walking though the front gate he sputtered. “Not a cent more than ten bucks! I have a flat tire and all I need is a jack. But you’re the kind of guy that probably won’t let me have one at any price!”
At this point in his imaginary conversation, Charlie arrived at the door and pounded angrily. Ned’s head appeared in the upstairs window and he called down, “Who’s there? What do you need?” Charlie yelled, “You and your stupid jack! I didn’t want to borrow it anyway!’” How often we make circumstances worse by our negative imaginings! We create obstacles in our minds and go through life spoiling for a fight; lashing out in a jealous rage at exaggerated offenses, adding imaginary adversaries to the real ones.
Our minds are incredibly powerful. Our thoughts become our choices and life experience. If we observe difficult circumstances and imagine hopelessly that we’re going to die buried in the mess, we talk ourselves into that outcome. Hopeless thinking produces hopeless living. Angry, bitter thoughts create an angry, bitter lifestyle that destroys relationships. (Proverbs 23:7) God desires to love us generously, but our thoughts and words often hinder what we can receive from Him. God desired to give the Promised Land to His chosen people. However, focused on their desert surroundings, Israel decided that God couldn’t possibly fulfill His promise to lead them into Canaan. Dissatisfied with God’s provision, they continually whined and complained about their food, water, and leaders. God reminded them of the power in their words when He said, “ As I live, what you have said in My hearing, I will do— your dead bodies shall fall in this wilderness…I will bring your little ones in and they will know the land which you have despised and rejected.” (Numbers 14:26-32) Whatever the situation, when we change our focus to God’s tender mercy and His desire to provide for us, our minds will be opened to creative ideas. God’s power and His way of thinking will enable us live in triumph over the situation, even while walking through it. (Philippians 4:13) Infinite Grace Ministries teaches how to trust God, no matter how things look, real or imaginary. The foundation of this ministry is that God is always perfectly good, and absolutely trustworthy. Learning this truth is life-changing! Call 580-774-2884 for more information today!
media use, says Tom Cooper, PhD, author of How to Clear Your Mind and Invigorate Your Life in an Age of Media Overload. “Your family will become closer, you’ll save time, sleep better, feel healthier, and probably even lose weight.”
If technology is adversely affecting communication in your family, a media journal is a good place to begin reducing screen time. Dieters track food consumption to know what and where to cut back. Beginning a family media diet by tracking usage can be quite an eye-opener. We’re often unaware how much time we spend on the internet, TV, and texting. Keeping a record of when a device being used and for how long, will give each one a better idea of how time is being spent. After logging for five days, decide as a family how you can spend more time engaging without screens.
Call 580-774-2884 to learn how to reduce technology-time, giving you more time to enjoy God and people.
